Winston and Maggie

First,  thank you so much for all the kind comments, texts, emails, and facebook messages celebrating James's birthday.  I am so thankful that you all remember him and his birthday.  I appreciate the fact that so many of you are celebrating his life.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So, yesterday has come and gone.  Matthew and I went to the zoo and saw Jamie with some sweet friends.  I know most of you are sick of hearing this, but I have the greatest friends.  Truly.  Some friends I have made this past year, and others I have known for 15 plus years and everywhere in between.  They are amazing.  And then my Mom was in town also, and she and I went out to Denton to take Jamesie some balloons.  So thankful for my Mom who lets me cry and be angry and then be happy and sad all within a 2 minute time-frame.

I've been a little preoccupied with myself lately, and it hit me not only did I lose my only child, but my parents and Matthew's parents all lost their only grandchild also.  My mom went from being GiGi- which she still is to the doglets- to not having a grandson to play with.  James just loved my mom so much.  Between my mom and my brother, they could have James laughing when he was in the hospital in no time.

This is my mom and James, with James laughing at my brother.  I think he was doing funny faces or something! 

James and Maggie.  Kisses from Maggie are a rare occurrence. 


James and Winston.  Winston gives everyone kisses. 

Speaking of the dogs- I feel like I should talk about them for a minute.  The pugs are Winston, who is 6, and Maggie, who is 4.  Matthew bought me Winston for my birthday our senior year in college.  I adopted Maggie in 2008 right after Matthew had left to go to Albuquerque for the summer to do a clerkship.  In retrospect, it was terrible timing, and the summer of 2008 I used to refer to as the worst summer of my life.  And then Summer 2011 happened and it pales in comparison.

Winston and Maggie are best friends.  Winston used to be the alpha dog, and then Maggie came and took her rightful place.  He was never that great at the alpha dog part anyway- he never had a chance.  Winston is definitely show-quality, slightly flamboyant, possibly autistic(but definitely high-functioning) and has a love of large, black, male dogs.  Seriously.  Maggie on the other hand is loud, has hip dysplasia, territorial, and is a tease.  They are a lot like Will and Grace. 

So when I was pregnant, I worried about how Winston and Maggie would take a new baby.  Maggie barks if any baby cries on the tv, and Winston's "spot" is my lap.  I bought a baby doll and practiced holding it and keeping the dogs away.  It didn't work.  But as soon as we brought James home they settled down.  And the bigger he got, the more they liked him.

And oh, how James loved the dogs.  He thought they were hilarious.   This video is one of my very favorites.  You have to watch it.  And I never say that.  But it's just so adorable. 

So I miss being able to play with all of them.  They were such a good team.  And now I don't even know if Winston and Maggie realize he's gone.  I know on some level they must know.  They don't go into his room ever, even though the door is open and they used to spend so much time in there.  Winston used take any opportunity to take a nap in the rocker.  It's just so strange to me that they don't even walk in there from time to time.


And I feel like I can't explain to them what has happened.  Just like I couldn't explain to James what was happening.  So I'm at a loss of what to do.  Winston has regained his place on my lap.  Maggie, who had stopped barking at the babies on tv, now barks at anything and everything.  Maybe they know, but don't even know what to do.  I guess that's how I feel, so I can't really blame them.