In my mind, there is only one thing that matters. I know that Jesus loves James more than I can fathom. I know how much I love and did love James when he was here with me. I know the deep longing I have for him and I know the aching in my heart that misses him. But I also know that God created James. He formed him and knows him more intimately than I do. And if I only know one thing- that is that God loves James more than I possibly could, so that must be ALOT!
One of the ministers at my church, Jay Cole, came and spoke to our Sunday School class a few weeks ago. I'm going to try to paraphrase what he said- and hopefully I won't butcher it too much! His words have really helped me the last few weeks ago.
So, in other words, it is not that God just didn't choose to heal James. God is so loving that he allows all of us the chance to CHOOSE him. (And Jay, I really hope that I explained this right and didn't mess it completely up. Let me know if I need to be set straight!)
I know that this is a somewhat simplistic view- but for me, it definitely helped. And it doesn't explain always why bad things happen but to me it makes sense!
Also, while I am on the subject of God's love- I know I have said this before, but I cannot tell you how vitally important my church community and Sunday school class have been. I attend First United Methodist Church, Dallas for those of you in the area and who are looking for a church home. I have been so blessed by this amazing group of friends who have become my second family.
And I know how hard it is to get up the courage and attend a church, especially if you don't know anyone! It is super intimidating! But please know that there are people in every church who have open arms and loving hearts and want to get to know you. They want to share their lives with you and want you to be a part of their community. If you visit one church and it doesn't feel right- then keep looking! I know the "church shopping" experience can be frustrating, but the reward is so incredibly worth it.
I hope I haven't offended anyone. I'm not a theologian. I have no advanced knowledge of the Bible and have honestly been slacking off in my Bible study. The one thing I do know is that God's love is infinite and that no matter what happens, God's love remains unchanged and faithful. I hope that each of you who read this know that, and know that you are so very important and that you matter. You matter to God and you matter to me.
And so if you are struggling in the "Why's?" of life, I hope that this helped maybe a tiny bit. Or maybe it didn't! But that explanation helped me so I thought that I would share! :)
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